Lets take a ride

So last weekend I took a trip to see my friends Sofie and Alicia. Two of many women I adore ; alot! I captured some moments but most are left for just me and my loves! enjoy

I can't start my morning without a cup of dunkin`
French vanilla to be exact =)

Sofie & I went to dinner then went to a candy store for dessert =)

She couldn't even help her self

literally ; a kid in a candy store =)

After the yummy sweets we headed to the Apple Store.
I hadddddd to see the iPhone 4. I must say the phone is pretty nice.
I have the regular iPhone and I'm very content with that; Ill leave the video chatting for my lap top.

PS. I do miss my blackberry -- alot!

We couldn't help our selves.

Love her*

Peace & Love

Thursday

Today seemed like a whole new start for me; I did a 180, emotions included
Pretty happy with myself and the improvement I have made. I really hope I can keep it up.
Did a little bit of running around; took a trip to GNC and looked at their new line "GNC Wellbeing".
I read a lot of good reviews on this product. I was looking for a good multivitamin and I thought I would give there product a try because my old multivitamin had a awful taste to it; yuckkk
I also purchased their hair, skin and nails product. I've read and heard that it is very helpful to take vitamins to help your hair, skin and nails become healthier because we miss a lot of things in our regular diet that helps your HSN grow and stay healthy.

I'll let you know how they go.

Last week I also started to buy hair magazines. I figured since I'm going into cosmetology I should have my own collection of hair magazines to keep up on the latest trends, right? I bought five all at the same time; I just couldn't help myself its like a kid in a candy story. =)

On the subject of magazines; I am in one!
Well not really one that the whole world will see but close enough =)
Dean College sends out a "Dean Bulletin" twice a year to Dean alumni and before I graduated this year I was being nominated for alot of things for helping out in the community and being a leader. To me it wasn't something I wanted to be recognized for I truly just enjoy making a difference if I was ever given the opportunity to. So I was nominated to be mentioned in the bulletin but I didn't think I was going to get a whole page to myself & be the only student with their own page in the magazine. I was also given an award that is given to only one male and female at the end of the year for their outstanding community leadership. That was a big surprise to me too, like really big!
"Just thinking back if I didn't experience drama 95% of the time I was there I would truly have enjoyed Dean and allowed myself to take in everything they were offering me; lesson learned."

I showed my mother the magazine because they asked me six questions and one of the questions were " who inspires you?" And although it is a common answer I said my mother. Alittle thank you to her ya know. Either when she read it before she put it down and missed the question or she pretended to read it, But her reaction was "oh this is the picture when your were 15 pounds lighter huh?" -- who says that?! ridiculous

oh and since there is no such thing as cooked meals in this house; this was my dinner.
That's my thursday.

Peace & Love

Starting New

Okay so something came over me today.
I have to let go of my past ; its a MUST.
My everyday life revolved around this thing called love, but this love is wrong.
I've been fighting for months for someone that gave up on me a year ago.
So many sleepless nights full of tears and regret
I cringe just thinking about the pain I went through and my heart still longed for him; why?!
"Love doesn't lie, cheat, or leave you. But this one has done it all"
I am a woman of my word and I must live by what I preach and that is to not dwell on this pain or it will kill me til my heart no longer beats...

Women, I know it is hard sometimes to let go of a guy, but when he only causes you pain you should know you deserve so much more. It's easier said than done but it is possible.
"Don't allow one man to steal all your love if he is not worth every beat of your heart."
You can't turn into a bitter woman, don't give up on love because its still out there.
Every guy is not the same; don't believe it.
Allow your self to love again and be open. It will be uncomfortable at first but soon enough the right guy will make the perfect fit into your life.

As I promised myself I will practice what I preach.
"We live for today because yesterday was in the past and the future is out of reach, for now."

Peace & Love

Thank you Alivia Cram

Ron Pope -- A drop in the ocean

A drop in the ocean

A change in the weather

I was praying that you and me might end up together

Its like wishing for rain as i stand in the desert

But i'm holding you closer than
most,

Cause you are my heaven.

I dont wanna waste the weekend If you
dont love me, pretend a few more hours, then its time to go

As my train rolls
down the east coast I wonder how you keep warmI

ts too late to cry

To broken to move on

And still i cant let you be

Most nights i hardly sleep

Don't take what you dont need from me

Its just a drop in the ocean

A change in the weather

I was praying that you and me might end up together

Its like wishing for rain as i stand in the desert

But i'm holding you closer than most,Cause you are my
heaven.

Misplaced trust and old friends

Never counting regrets

But a grace of god i do not rest at all

In new England as the leaves changeThe last excuse ill claim,
i was a boy who loved a women like a little girl

And still i cant let you beMost
nights i hardly sleep

Dont take what you dont need from me

Its just a drop in the
ocean

A change in the weatherI was praying that you and me might end up
together

Its like wishing for rain as i stand in the desert

But i'm holding you closer than most,Cause you are my,

heaven

doesnt seem far away anymore no no

Heaven doesnt seem far away

Heaven doesnt seem far away anymore no no

Heaven doesnt seem far away

A drop in the ocean

A change in the weatherI was praying that
you and me might end up together

Its like wishing for rain as i stand in the
desert

But i'm holding you closer than most,Cause you are my heaven.You are my
heaven

I've never heard such a beautiful song...

watch it on youtube here

The person in the mirror

everyday I struggle with this thing called self-esteem.

most people who are close to me would not believe this is something that would affect a person like me; ms. peace and love her self.

yes! I'm human and I pick myself apart like all normal young adults do...

So what is it that makes women not like the skin their in or have low self-esteem?

I think it has to do with the media and the atmosphere you were raised in.

The media believes women should be these magnificent creatures that are always perfect 24/7

NO ONE IS PERFECT and for sure no one can be perfect.

Behind the make-up, fake eyelashes, hair extensions and thousand dollar clothes their all just regular women. who live regular lives and experience the day to day struggles life may bring.

But why are things that we looked at as taboos like plastic surgery turn into things we envy for good looks?

I can't lie and I wont lie, I watch these tv shows and award shows and wish I were in their shoes sometimes. These women are beautiful...

"perfect everything..."

Their lives seem so wonderful and fulfilling.
I look in the mirror and wish and hope that would be me.
I pick at my body wishing things I pinch would disappear.

"I am my own worst enemy"

and that is true; I'm the hardest on my self.
I struggled with finding who I am in my young teenage years;
that came with baggage like depression, low self-esteem and sometimes suicidal thoughts...
life seemed so hard back then. Not being the prettiest girl in your circle of friends or always being the 'home girl' to guys when you really wanted to be more.
Which made me struggle with love when it came along...
I didn't find myself and who I am now til my senior year in high school. But still I struggle with accepting my self the way I am to this day.
I have days when I could really look in the mirror and love what I see
but some days I'm stuck in bed not wanting to see that reflection in the mirror

"I'm obsessed with losing weight"

my friends think I'm beautiful the way I am; but the person inside thinks other wise.
I buy these magazines and watch these shows that brag to you that they can show you how to lose 20 pounds in 2 weeks or the most popular diet on the market today.
ughhhhhh I just want to pull my hair!

"I shouldn't be worried about the lbs. I should be worried about being 100% healthy and being grateful that god has blessed me with another day. Life is just too short..."

Its so hard to think positive when there are thousands of things everyday reminding you of what you aren't and what you don't have.
I look up to many artist that send out positive feed-back to women out there to love themselves. Artist like Queen Latifah, Alicia keys, Raven Simon, Tyra Banks, ect.

"I want to change the world, one woman at a time"

I want to change the negative thoughts women have in their heads about the reflection they see in the mirror. I think that's why I started my club 'Sisterhood' at college.

I wanted to change the image people had of women on campus and I realized it started with the girls first. All of them had self-esteem issues; granted most of them were dancers and had very fit bodies. I seen not one thing wrong with any of my girls. But that goes to show it all matters what you think about your self and how you carry your self.
Its so hard to see young women struggle with the challenges I went through as a teen when life means more than that. Everyone is beautiful in their own way and you don't need a man or anyone else to tell you that your beautiful; god knows that, that's' why he made you the way you are...
I say thank you to the plus size models paving a way for full figured women out there to be okay with the skin their in and to love your curves. They give women that are not a size 4 more confidence about their double digit pants size and how to embrace their beauty...

"You are beautiful no matter what they say Words can't bring you down You are beautiful in every single way Yes, words can't bring you down Don't you bring me down today..." Christina Aguilera

What's Next?

Soo0o it's been a few months since I posted something and I just thought what great way to vent than to BLOG about my feelings - l0l.
Alot has happened; some little and some big..
to start
I graduated college!

Dean College Class of 2010

The longest two years of my life! I can say I have met some amazing people that I will know for a life time and I have lost so many friends but that's life right?
I experienced love & heart break all at the same time; I'll never be the same =/
I accomplished so much, I was president of two clubs, played basketball for one season, became a CA (just like a RA in other colleges), and just an all around good person. I've grown as a friend, a student, a daughter and a sister. My appetite to succeed in life is the drive that keeps me going when I feel like all hope is lost. College was a good experience but I sure wouldn't do it again =)
on a lighter note:
My sister won the Division II state Championship!!
Oliver Ames went 24-1 for the season My sister was only a freshman; I have high hopes for her and I know she will do amazing things with her talent!
That's her #23
That's our mom -- her BIGGEST FANSooo the million dollar question is; what's next for me?
I guess you'll just have to wait and see ;) ...

Bartender?

So no questions asked Im going to bartending school and looking for a bartending job after college. I need something new and exciting. This will be a fun adventure and I don't mind the drunk`n monkeys, the stalkers, and the regulars that are always there every friday night.

It will probably take time before I get to bartend at any clubs or events but im willing to wait.

can't wait

P.S. grey goose is my fav!

walk the distance

walk the distance and run that mile.

My future is clear and the road is endless; full of opportunity and success waiting ahead.

watch my steps and leave me to this road I must take.

Need a distraction

Its hard to go on with my day and enjoy this freedom when the past is heavily on my mind.

My heart is heavy and I just want the feeling to go away

I need more than hope to get over him.
Its crazy how the heart works, although it gets hurt it still stores the love you had for that person.

I just want to erase my memory. All that Ive known of him were lies -- Im not even sure who I was loving and why I continue to think of him.

grrrr it upsets me to think every word was just a lie.

So where I am now I need to change, and I thought the best thing would be something to distract myself. Maybe even a get away.

So my first thought was to do boxing

I guess it can help with my anger -- pretend his face is the punching bag.
Most deff a good work out =)

But then I figured well if I want to relax rather than beat down a punching bag I can go to the spa

Seems really good. Time to relax and be around nothing but positive energy.
But would I lay there and think of him?

What about starting my own garden?

I don't have much of a green thumb but I could try.

Thats all I can do is try...

South Sectional Champs!

Congrats to the Oliver Ames Women's basketball team!

The most exciting game ever -- I found myself jumping and screaming like a mad woman!

My sister is only a freshman on her way to the state title.

Playing at the garden on tuesday -- yes where the celtics play

History in the making!

Breakfast

I love breakfast -- Dunkin Donuts to be exact

blueberry muffin

jelly donut

hash browns

everything bagel

the works =)

Time heals

They say time heals all wounds...
The pain of a broken heart is sometimes hard to bare. Love alone has its down.
Your not suppose to ask why -- they say to learn from your past so your future is brighter
I keep wishing I seen the pain coming but I was thinking with my mind and not my heart -- you never stop loving someone you just learn to live without them

" He painted a perfect picture. The I love yous and miss yous gave me butterflies. No relationship is perfect so we had our ups and downs. But when things never seem to change where do you go from there? Do you stay or do you go? Many times I've asked myself why do I let him continue to be apart of my life? Love had nothing to do with it -- I fell comfortable to his presence; texting me, calling me, hugging me, kissing me. He asked me to give him time to change; to work things out -- you can't change someone into something their not, you love them for who they are or not at all. Time pasted and so did love, 365 days later the truth is visible. Tears run down my face, a river filled with pain, hurt, and loss. Why the other women, the lies and games -- Ive asked so many times to move on but you would say you could never let me go [selfish], I made you happy [lies] and you couldn't live without me [selfish]. The I love yous were nothing new so soon they were words with no meaning. Still at this time I sit and wonder why me and why did I not see it coming? You were good, I must admit. Played me for a fool -- they say what goes around comes around but I would never wish this pain on any ones heart. The man above knows I'm strong and he test my ability every day. I forgive you, I no longer hope for a apology from you but that you recongize your faults and become a better man."